Things I am thankful for
141) Christmas music on the radio
142) Lots of time to practice for christmas music recital
143) Abby not sneaking outside today
144) mom comming home from work early
145) Clothes fitting again that i outgrew
Sorry it has been awhile since I posted. I am having trouble dealing with my mental illness. It usually seems to get worse around the holidays. BUt my goal is to try and not end up in the hospital this year, becaiuse of it. So far I am doing well. because I have alot of soppourt but I am still scared
Thursday 17 November 2011
Saturday 12 November 2011
Things I am thankful for
136) mom who catches the escaped cat
137) Christmas music on the radio
138) sales on at the mall
139) hair dressers
140) christmas baking
today was a good day. I went out shopping with my mom we went to all the Winners stores near us. Looking for a special christmas gift, that we just had to buy.
icouldn't believe it they were playing christmas music on the radio today.
136) mom who catches the escaped cat
137) Christmas music on the radio
138) sales on at the mall
139) hair dressers
140) christmas baking
today was a good day. I went out shopping with my mom we went to all the Winners stores near us. Looking for a special christmas gift, that we just had to buy.
icouldn't believe it they were playing christmas music on the radio today.
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Monday 7 November 2011
Things i am thankful for
126) Fuzzy slippers
127) teaching children new songs
128) For community gatherings
129) Craft group
130) Tim change get an extra hour of sleep
Yesterday we went to our local rememberance day service. It was nice. It was outside and not to cold. the local politicians all came and were introducing themselves to everyone and shaking peoples hands. It was nice. Then the community was invited inside for cookies and juice.
126) Fuzzy slippers
127) teaching children new songs
128) For community gatherings
129) Craft group
130) Tim change get an extra hour of sleep
Yesterday we went to our local rememberance day service. It was nice. It was outside and not to cold. the local politicians all came and were introducing themselves to everyone and shaking peoples hands. It was nice. Then the community was invited inside for cookies and juice.
Thursday 3 November 2011
Wednesday 2 November 2011
Tuesday 1 November 2011
zumba
111) zumba at the gym
112) Progress in weight loss
113) Soppourt staff at the gym
114) Tim Hortons after comming from the gym
115) Zumba instuctor who goes out of her way to learn all participants names
Tonight was zumba i had a great time. I was doing the wrong moves some of the time, but they say as long as you are moving then you are doing what you are soppoused to be doing, just the wrong moves though. But the whole purpose of zumba is to have fun, and get a workout at the same time
112) Progress in weight loss
113) Soppourt staff at the gym
114) Tim Hortons after comming from the gym
115) Zumba instuctor who goes out of her way to learn all participants names
Tonight was zumba i had a great time. I was doing the wrong moves some of the time, but they say as long as you are moving then you are doing what you are soppoused to be doing, just the wrong moves though. But the whole purpose of zumba is to have fun, and get a workout at the same time
Monday 31 October 2011
Things I am thankful for
106)taxi drivers who were brave enough to wear a custume
107) nail polish that matches my outfit
108) shoes
109) slippers to keep my feet warm
110) new friends
well..... it is a nice night for halloween, we only ever get one kid, and she came early this year. so it looks like we are having candy left over if no one comes.
106)taxi drivers who were brave enough to wear a custume
107) nail polish that matches my outfit
108) shoes
109) slippers to keep my feet warm
110) new friends
well..... it is a nice night for halloween, we only ever get one kid, and she came early this year. so it looks like we are having candy left over if no one comes.
Sunday 30 October 2011
Saturday 29 October 2011
96) Church activities
97) sleeping in on weekends
98) themed socks (for Halloween)
99) good family movies
100) Making someone else smile
Today we had a Roast beef dinner at our church. I was helping by being a table server so it was my job to bring all the food out to the tables, and clear there dishes. it was fun. In my mind i was pretending to be a waitress.
97) sleeping in on weekends
98) themed socks (for Halloween)
99) good family movies
100) Making someone else smile
Today we had a Roast beef dinner at our church. I was helping by being a table server so it was my job to bring all the food out to the tables, and clear there dishes. it was fun. In my mind i was pretending to be a waitress.
Friday 28 October 2011
things I am thankful for
91) duct tape for crafts
92) mike's girlfriend sharing photos with me for a surprise gift
93) dads half day today
94) socks with tred on the bottom to prevent slipping
95) hand held mirrors
today was a good day, nice weather, and dad was off work for half the day so I had some company at home. So I was not worried that someone was going to break in and shoot me because i know my dad would protect me.
91) duct tape for crafts
92) mike's girlfriend sharing photos with me for a surprise gift
93) dads half day today
94) socks with tred on the bottom to prevent slipping
95) hand held mirrors
today was a good day, nice weather, and dad was off work for half the day so I had some company at home. So I was not worried that someone was going to break in and shoot me because i know my dad would protect me.
Thursday 27 October 2011
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Tuesday 25 October 2011
today
76) Art and crafts
77) touch of paint for my friend to hide scratches on her new car
78) friends who wait with me for my mom to get home ffrom work so i'm not alone
79) The ability to put photos on mugs
80) scrapbooking memories
today was a good day, I went shopping with a friend. and when i came home and was alone again I sang worship music at the top of my voice. so maybe it was a good thing no one was here to tell me to be quiet.
77) touch of paint for my friend to hide scratches on her new car
78) friends who wait with me for my mom to get home ffrom work so i'm not alone
79) The ability to put photos on mugs
80) scrapbooking memories
today was a good day, I went shopping with a friend. and when i came home and was alone again I sang worship music at the top of my voice. so maybe it was a good thing no one was here to tell me to be quiet.
Monday 24 October 2011
71) The Gym
72) Sticky notes
73) Friends who take me places
74) Caring doctors
75) smell of fresh baked goods comming from my kitchen
Today was a good day. I am just comming from the gym. Went to see my doctor today, he told me that he heard I did a good job doing a presentation for his office. Went to my craft group as well today. I am going to teach the group how to make ducktape flowers.
72) Sticky notes
73) Friends who take me places
74) Caring doctors
75) smell of fresh baked goods comming from my kitchen
Today was a good day. I am just comming from the gym. Went to see my doctor today, he told me that he heard I did a good job doing a presentation for his office. Went to my craft group as well today. I am going to teach the group how to make ducktape flowers.
Sunday 23 October 2011
things I am thankful for
66) home cooked meals
67) plant stands
68) Hair brush when I can find it
69) abby my cat
70) warmer weather outside today
Today i went to church. i help out in the nursery and we are teaching the kids a song to sing to the congregation, the song is called tell me the stories of jesus. the kids are even learning some sign language to do while they are singing it.
66) home cooked meals
67) plant stands
68) Hair brush when I can find it
69) abby my cat
70) warmer weather outside today
Today i went to church. i help out in the nursery and we are teaching the kids a song to sing to the congregation, the song is called tell me the stories of jesus. the kids are even learning some sign language to do while they are singing it.
Saturday 22 October 2011
Yard sales
61) hand sanitizer
62) journals
63) Free cart at the grocery store
64) Sales
65) My values
Today I went grocery shopping with my mom, after my parents returned from there saturday adventures of yard sales. They found alot of treasures today. My mom got a swinging chair, and my dad got tons of movies to watch and add to his ever growing video collection.
62) journals
63) Free cart at the grocery store
64) Sales
65) My values
Today I went grocery shopping with my mom, after my parents returned from there saturday adventures of yard sales. They found alot of treasures today. My mom got a swinging chair, and my dad got tons of movies to watch and add to his ever growing video collection.
Friday 21 October 2011
Things i am thankful for
56)Air freshners
57) Digital clocks
58) DvD's that are a shows season
59) compliments
60) Non slip hair ties
today I said a speech for a bunch of doctors. it went well and by the time I arrived at the place i was giving the speech i was no longer nervous. At the end they gave me gift cards for Tim Hortons as a thank you.
I really enjoy public speaking, and am glad when I can talk about an issue that means alot to me, such as mental illness
56)Air freshners
57) Digital clocks
58) DvD's that are a shows season
59) compliments
60) Non slip hair ties
today I said a speech for a bunch of doctors. it went well and by the time I arrived at the place i was giving the speech i was no longer nervous. At the end they gave me gift cards for Tim Hortons as a thank you.
I really enjoy public speaking, and am glad when I can talk about an issue that means alot to me, such as mental illness
Thursday 20 October 2011
Things I am thankful for
51) Automatic windows in cars
52) mom getting home early from work
53) Spell check
54) Staff at the gym to keep you motivated
55) Cookies fresh from the oven
Tomorrow I am giving a presentation on mental illness to a room full of doctors, this should be interesting. I am a little nervous with the idea, but I know I can do it and do a good job. they wouldn't have asked me to do it if they thought i couldn't. Tonight my favourite show is on Greys Anatomy
51) Automatic windows in cars
52) mom getting home early from work
53) Spell check
54) Staff at the gym to keep you motivated
55) Cookies fresh from the oven
Tomorrow I am giving a presentation on mental illness to a room full of doctors, this should be interesting. I am a little nervous with the idea, but I know I can do it and do a good job. they wouldn't have asked me to do it if they thought i couldn't. Tonight my favourite show is on Greys Anatomy
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Things I am Thankful for today
46) A roof over my head to shield me from rain
47) Dry clothes
48) Glasses to help me see
49) Night lites to provide comfort in a dark room
50) Finance advisors
Today was a good day. Although tomorrow I have piano lessons and i have not practiced all week, so I guess i know what I will be doing tomorrow. I am not happy with todays weather, on miserable days I find it makes my mood feel worse. I went to see my social worker today and she told me i will be ok and get through today which I did. So it must be a good day.
46) A roof over my head to shield me from rain
47) Dry clothes
48) Glasses to help me see
49) Night lites to provide comfort in a dark room
50) Finance advisors
Today was a good day. Although tomorrow I have piano lessons and i have not practiced all week, so I guess i know what I will be doing tomorrow. I am not happy with todays weather, on miserable days I find it makes my mood feel worse. I went to see my social worker today and she told me i will be ok and get through today which I did. So it must be a good day.
Tuesday 18 October 2011
Monday 17 October 2011
Today
Graditute
41) Flashlights to find items hidden in the back of my closet
42) Lens cleaner for my glasses
43) Notebook to keep a diary
44) Creative writing songs that i write
45) Being able to give speeches to large audiences
Today i was asked by my social worker to give a speech on what it is like working with her office. I agreed to give the speech. It is soppoused to be 20 minutes long and I have to have it all wrote by wednesday, and get it approved to say on friday. So I am going to be busy writing a speech. It will be hard to find time since I have so much other stuff on the go.
Today I went to my craft group it was fun I am making a butterfly out of sequence, i am poking the sequence on a pin into a piece of stryofoam, It is going to take forever to finish it, but at least it is something to do
41) Flashlights to find items hidden in the back of my closet
42) Lens cleaner for my glasses
43) Notebook to keep a diary
44) Creative writing songs that i write
45) Being able to give speeches to large audiences
Today i was asked by my social worker to give a speech on what it is like working with her office. I agreed to give the speech. It is soppoused to be 20 minutes long and I have to have it all wrote by wednesday, and get it approved to say on friday. So I am going to be busy writing a speech. It will be hard to find time since I have so much other stuff on the go.
Today I went to my craft group it was fun I am making a butterfly out of sequence, i am poking the sequence on a pin into a piece of stryofoam, It is going to take forever to finish it, but at least it is something to do
Sunday 16 October 2011
Gratitudes of Today
36) Family get togethers
37) cusins who invite me to hang out with them
38) Loving parents
39) Having good clothes and around home clothes
40) Creativity
Today was a good day I went to a bridal shower in the afternoon, and then my cusin invited me to go to her church with her to hear her kids sing. It was so nice to spend time with family.
36) Family get togethers
37) cusins who invite me to hang out with them
38) Loving parents
39) Having good clothes and around home clothes
40) Creativity
Today was a good day I went to a bridal shower in the afternoon, and then my cusin invited me to go to her church with her to hear her kids sing. It was so nice to spend time with family.
Saturday 15 October 2011
Today I am thankful for
31) Fuzzy slippers that keep my feet warm
32) Having a phone in my room
33) A great music teacher
34)My keyboard to play music on
35) copons for my favourite stores
Today was a good day. I slept in till noon. But I also didn't fall asleep last night until around 2 am. I went for groceries with my mom, I talked her into buying the pilsbury cookies the ones with the halloween pictures on them. I can't wait to bake them. I was given a recipe for chocolate cake that you bake in your microwave in a coffee mug, can't wait to try it and see if it works. If it does i will post the recipe.
31) Fuzzy slippers that keep my feet warm
32) Having a phone in my room
33) A great music teacher
34)My keyboard to play music on
35) copons for my favourite stores
Today was a good day. I slept in till noon. But I also didn't fall asleep last night until around 2 am. I went for groceries with my mom, I talked her into buying the pilsbury cookies the ones with the halloween pictures on them. I can't wait to bake them. I was given a recipe for chocolate cake that you bake in your microwave in a coffee mug, can't wait to try it and see if it works. If it does i will post the recipe.
Friday 14 October 2011
Thursday 13 October 2011
Today I went to see my social worker, She told me that she is leaving, and a new social worker will start but in the meantime they will just have a temporary one again. they seem to have a hard time keeping staff I just get used to somebody and then they leave. I hope it is nothing I did.
Tonight I have music lessons and i don't feel ready. I feel like I should practice more.
Things am thankful for today.
21) Mom who drives me places
22) taxi voutures to and from appointments
23) Taxi arriving write on time
24) Abby
25) Stuffed animals for comfort
Tonight I have music lessons and i don't feel ready. I feel like I should practice more.
Things am thankful for today.
21) Mom who drives me places
22) taxi voutures to and from appointments
23) Taxi arriving write on time
24) Abby
25) Stuffed animals for comfort
Wednesday 12 October 2011
professionals
Today I went to see my social worker she suggested I make a chart of the times I feel scared each day and what I did to get through the moment, that way we find out if there is a pattern of when I feel bad so we can figure out what to do ahead of that time to keep busy.
So Now I have to make a chart
I am thankful for
16) the work the social worker does with me
17) Leftovers for a quick supper
18) The gym
19) The plant in my room, that is still alive even though i forget to water it
20) Having no cavaties at the dentist
I went to the dentist today after the social workers and had no cavities which is something I am very happy about. So there is always something good in each day, even if it is the small things
So Now I have to make a chart
I am thankful for
16) the work the social worker does with me
17) Leftovers for a quick supper
18) The gym
19) The plant in my room, that is still alive even though i forget to water it
20) Having no cavaties at the dentist
I went to the dentist today after the social workers and had no cavities which is something I am very happy about. So there is always something good in each day, even if it is the small things
Tuesday 11 October 2011
more thankfulness
More Thankfulness
11) Mikes girlfriend who takes the dog on walks
12) Portable phones
13) Food to eat
14) Mom comming home from work write on time
15) Tim Hortons within 5 minutes of home
Sory I did not post yesterday as I was having thanksgiving with my family and then a friend invited me over to look at pictures from her trip.
Today was a hard day I kept thinking someone will break in to the house and shoot me. This is an ongoing thought that I wish would just go away so i don't have to deal with feeling scared
11) Mikes girlfriend who takes the dog on walks
12) Portable phones
13) Food to eat
14) Mom comming home from work write on time
15) Tim Hortons within 5 minutes of home
Sory I did not post yesterday as I was having thanksgiving with my family and then a friend invited me over to look at pictures from her trip.
Today was a hard day I kept thinking someone will break in to the house and shoot me. This is an ongoing thought that I wish would just go away so i don't have to deal with feeling scared
Sunday 9 October 2011
Thankful
To cuntinue to the list of things I am thankful for
6) Dishwashers that work
7) The sun on a nice day
8) Learning New crafts
9) Time with my family
10) my computer to help me keep in touch with new and old friends and family
Today I went to church, we had the kids in the Nursery put icing on the cupcakes the church was selling for the mission and service fund. The little ones got covered in icing and wanted to keep licking icing off there knife it was hared to watch that they didn't do that.
Tomorrow we are having thanksgiving. Mike's girlfriend is comming over and Bringing us pies for our thanksgiving meal.
I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving
6) Dishwashers that work
7) The sun on a nice day
8) Learning New crafts
9) Time with my family
10) my computer to help me keep in touch with new and old friends and family
Today I went to church, we had the kids in the Nursery put icing on the cupcakes the church was selling for the mission and service fund. The little ones got covered in icing and wanted to keep licking icing off there knife it was hared to watch that they didn't do that.
Tomorrow we are having thanksgiving. Mike's girlfriend is comming over and Bringing us pies for our thanksgiving meal.
I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving
Saturday 8 October 2011
today was a beautiful day, I didn't even have to wear a sweater, my mom and I went for groceries, which always seems more like a chore then something fun, but it is nice to get out of the house for awhile. we bought stuff for our thanksgiving meal. Everyday as thanksgiving gets closer I try to think of things to be thankful for. Somethings just come to me and other things take a little more thought
5 things i am thankful for this year
1) Family and friends who soppourt me
2) Pets
3) Beliefs
4) Doctors
5) Music
5 things i am thankful for this year
1) Family and friends who soppourt me
2) Pets
3) Beliefs
4) Doctors
5) Music
Friday 7 October 2011
Today was a bust day. And I even remembered to practice piano, so the week before piano comes around again is doing good.
I went to the mall today with my mom we bought some christmas gifts for each other. It seems so early to be thinking about christmas already.
At the mall I got a frozen hot chocolate. they are so good and sometimes you need to treat yourself to something nice.
So it was my reward for surviving the week
A week without self harm
I went to the mall today with my mom we bought some christmas gifts for each other. It seems so early to be thinking about christmas already.
At the mall I got a frozen hot chocolate. they are so good and sometimes you need to treat yourself to something nice.
So it was my reward for surviving the week
A week without self harm
Thursday 6 October 2011
music and fear
Today I went to music lessons for piano. The music teacher could tell I was out of practice, and I was, so I promised her I would practice more often everyday. I fully plan to carry out the plan of practicing everyday even if it is just for a few minutes. I need to make a habit out of practicing piano.
today was a really rough day I thought someone was going to break into my house and shoot me. even though my house is safe. I prayed to god and asked him to please help keep me safe from bad people who might want to hurt me. When my mom came home from work I was grateful and Still alive, no one shot me today
today was a really rough day I thought someone was going to break into my house and shoot me. even though my house is safe. I prayed to god and asked him to please help keep me safe from bad people who might want to hurt me. When my mom came home from work I was grateful and Still alive, no one shot me today
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Today I took our puppy Tippy to the vet. The vet said she is in good health and that she has doubled her weight since she was there last. which is good considering her age
Today a friend of mine came over to learn how to make duct tape flowers. we each made two.
Yesterday at zumba was fun, but my mom thought it was hard. Tonight I am just going to the gym and not to zumba
Today a friend of mine came over to learn how to make duct tape flowers. we each made two.
Yesterday at zumba was fun, but my mom thought it was hard. Tonight I am just going to the gym and not to zumba
Tuesday 4 October 2011
failing at making cookies
Today was a long day. I was home all day. I tried to make some cookies, the no bake kind, but they wouldn't set, so I had runny cookies. I was doing it to surprise my mom, but when she came home they still weren't set so she tried to make them right by putting the runny cookies back into the pan and bringing them to a boil again, but it still didn't work.
Next time I make cookies I think I will do ones you have to bake, but I might give the no bake ones one more try before I call it hopeless.
Tonight I have zumba I am looking forward to it.
Next time I make cookies I think I will do ones you have to bake, but I might give the no bake ones one more try before I call it hopeless.
Tonight I have zumba I am looking forward to it.
Monday 3 October 2011
craft group
Today was a good day. I got the stitches removed from my arm, and I painted a giant dragonfly at my art group. They had a lot of crafts to choose from, but I liked the dragon fly best.
The leader of the craft group asked me If i wanted to help her teach the group. I told her I would. I am the youngest member of the craft group but I don't mind, as I know everyone is there for the same reasons. Tonight I am going to the gym even though I feel tired from getting up early this morning.
The leader of the craft group asked me If i wanted to help her teach the group. I told her I would. I am the youngest member of the craft group but I don't mind, as I know everyone is there for the same reasons. Tonight I am going to the gym even though I feel tired from getting up early this morning.
Sunday 2 October 2011
Quick post
Well today was a good day. I learned how to make roses out of duck tape. It really does look like a rose that you would buy at a store selling fake flowers.
And tomorrow morning I am looking forward to my craft group, i can't wait to see what we will be making.
And tomorrow morning I am looking forward to my craft group, i can't wait to see what we will be making.
Saturday 1 October 2011
Today
Today I went out for groceries with my mom. And the one store we went to they were selling cupcakes with bacon on the top. I have never heard about this or seen it done before, but I don't think I would like it. They were also selling bacon dipped in chocolate. I was not brave enough to try such a thing but the sales lady says it sells really well.
I can't believe how cold it is outside today. It seems like the teperature just dropped to fast.
Today i am doing well, my arm is really itchy today my mom says that means it is healing I hope she is right, since the stitches come out on monday.
I am also going to be joining a craft group on mondays for people living with mental illness it should be interesting to meet people like me
I can't believe how cold it is outside today. It seems like the teperature just dropped to fast.
Today i am doing well, my arm is really itchy today my mom says that means it is healing I hope she is right, since the stitches come out on monday.
I am also going to be joining a craft group on mondays for people living with mental illness it should be interesting to meet people like me
Friday 30 September 2011
shoes
Well it is later tonight then I usually post, but that is because I am having a good day. I went out to a mall I don't usually go to because it is quite the drive but I bought a new pair of shoes, these are great shoes as they have hello kitty on them and they were in my size, I can't wait to start wearing them. Then my friend came back to my house and we played cards with my mom, as the game is much better with more people. The card game is phase 10, and there is 10 different things you have to do in order to win the game. It is lots of fun.
Thursday 29 September 2011
doctors theory
Today was a good day. I had music lessons. My doctor has a interesting theory as to why I hurt myself and don't know why. They think I may have experienced something called dissociation and had a moment where time stood still in my mind and I didn't know what i did Till it was to late. KInd of sounds like a strange theory to me.
maybe I will never figure out what truly happened as to why i self injured on sunday but I would really like to know why to make sure it does not happen again
maybe I will never figure out what truly happened as to why i self injured on sunday but I would really like to know why to make sure it does not happen again
Wednesday 28 September 2011
The Mall
Today has been a good day. I spent the day with a friend. We went to the mall and to the craft store. I didn't find anything but my friend got a piece of hand blown glass that you fill with water and put it into your plants to keep them watered. They were on sale for 99 cents, I already have one so I did not need to buy another one. We stayed at the mall for lunch. I felt like I was going to have a panick attack at the mall, because my heart started going really fast, but I didn't, which is a good thing because I didn't want my friend to worry about me. Aftewr we left the mall we went to the fraft store. But none of us bought something at the craft store. Tonight I am going to the gym. I usually have a good time there.
Tuesday 27 September 2011
acceptance
Today has been a goodday and I am looking forwrd to going to zumba and the gym. I really enjoy going to zumba, to bad I can only go once a week as it is a positive in my day. Yesterday I went to see my social worker she told me it is ok, to be scared. and I should accept the fact that i am scared. So I am working on doing that. Today I just watched movies all day because I was scared of being in my bedroom. My mom tells me she doesn't smell anything strange in my room but often I tell her my room smells like salomi even though we don't by that kind of meat. strange isn't it.
Monday 26 September 2011
Oh no
Yesterday started off so good, I don't know what but something went wrong as I ended up cutting myself and being taken to the hospital. where i ended up getting eight stitches. today is going much better then last night and I am looking forward to go to the gym tonight. I thought god maybe made at me for cutting myself, but I had it explained to me and I don't think god is mad at me anymore. Thanks
Sunday 25 September 2011
Church sunday
This morning was a good morning. I woke up and went to church with my mom. Today was the churchs anniversary so we had guest musicians come and sing and play the guitar and piano for us. they were really good. I also helped out in the nursery, even though we only had two kids there. Then we had a pot luck lunch after the service. It was great.
After church my mom and i went to the Ancaster fair. we didn't go on any rides we just looked to see what the vendors were selling. I bought a necklace. It is a music note made out of hand blown glass, and my mom bought a serving tray.
After church my mom and i went to the Ancaster fair. we didn't go on any rides we just looked to see what the vendors were selling. I bought a necklace. It is a music note made out of hand blown glass, and my mom bought a serving tray.
Saturday 24 September 2011
My Plan
Today was a long day. This morning I watched some house, then I went for groceries with my mom. I just keep thinking how I could hurt myself, and get rid of everything else i was feeling. I didn't hurt myself and the day is almost over so I guess I am thankful for that. I just felt like there was no hope today, but I am beginning to come around and see that maybe there is hope for me, and everything that happens happens for a reason. I am just not sure what the reason behind self injury thoughts is. Maybe It is so i can teach other people about the disorder, and what works and doesn't work for me. i already did one presentation on it, maybe i am meant to keep talking about life with mental illness.
Friday 23 September 2011
disappointment
Today was a good day. I read some today, and when mom came home from work we went down to her friends store on ottawa st. and of course she brought home Tim Hortons from work. Today was hard with our dog because she kept barking to go outside but as soon as she saw the rain she ran back from the door.
I volunteered to help with the elections so the election people called today and said they had filled all of there spaces and I would be put on a cancellation list, that was a disappointment because I really wanted to work the elections.
I volunteered to help with the elections so the election people called today and said they had filled all of there spaces and I would be put on a cancellation list, that was a disappointment because I really wanted to work the elections.
Thursday 22 September 2011
my day
Today was a good day. I spent most of the day reading, and time just seemed to fly by. And then my neighbour came over with gifts for Abby our cat and Tippy our dog. She brought them each a toy and a baag of treats. They seemed to just love them. Tonight I had music lessons. The music teacher thinks i am doing well. she says it is harder for adults to learn the piano then it is for kids, so she thinks I am doing fantastic but I am not so sure of that.Tonight is the Greys anatomy season premiere can't wait to watch it.
Wednesday 21 September 2011
stuff to look forward to
Today the cat came home from the vet. We were told to keep her quiet but all she wants to do is play. It will be hard to keep our kitten from playing with the puppy.
We went out for supper tonight. Golden fish and chips were having there special of the week.
I went to the mall with a friend today. I ended up buying greys Anatomy season seven on DVD. Greys anatomy is my favourite tv show and the nes season comes on Tv on thursday. So I am looking forward to watching it.
We went out for supper tonight. Golden fish and chips were having there special of the week.
I went to the mall with a friend today. I ended up buying greys Anatomy season seven on DVD. Greys anatomy is my favourite tv show and the nes season comes on Tv on thursday. So I am looking forward to watching it.
Tuesday 20 September 2011
today
Tonight was great. I had a good day.
I called the vet and he told me my cats surgury was a success, and I should be able to bring her home tomorrow afternoon, she had to get fixed as mom does not want any kittens. We also had her declawed. My poor kitty is not going to be herself till she heals up. But I was glad to hear it was successful and my mom will be happy now that the cat won't be able to climb all the way up the curtains.
Tonight was good as well. I went to the gym and then to zumba. I really enjoy zumba classes, but they are quite the workout.
Now I am ready for a good nights sleep
I called the vet and he told me my cats surgury was a success, and I should be able to bring her home tomorrow afternoon, she had to get fixed as mom does not want any kittens. We also had her declawed. My poor kitty is not going to be herself till she heals up. But I was glad to hear it was successful and my mom will be happy now that the cat won't be able to climb all the way up the curtains.
Tonight was good as well. I went to the gym and then to zumba. I really enjoy zumba classes, but they are quite the workout.
Now I am ready for a good nights sleep
Monday 19 September 2011
Doctors visit
Today I went to the doctor, and they decided to give me more medication, i thought i was doing well on what i was already taking, but they decided on an increase, and also ones that I now have to carry with me everywhere I go, incase i get panicked, they said it would take the edge off. I thought I didn't need to but after being in emergency this week, I guess the doctor was concerned. I am doing much better now though much better then I was a year ago at this time. I thought my prayers were working, and I guess they are if i compare where i am this year to where I was last year at this time. I will cuntinue to pray that things get easier or that I am able to cope better. But I thank god daily for helping me, and waalking by myside through this illness
Sunday 18 September 2011
Sunday
today was a long day, it seemed like it would never end, actually it still feels that way. I have alot on my mind. I should be practicing piano, or cleaning my room, but I don't feel up to it, maybe its the change in weather. I am not sure. I am thankful for many things and now that it is getting closer to thanksgiving i am comming up with more and more things to be thankful for. Today i am thankful for my family, and my pets. This is a big change because last year at this time I wasn't thankful for anything. I didn't even want to live. i have come along way since then And I am now thankful for the doctors and nurses who kept me going while i was in hospital.
Saturday 17 September 2011
Importance of activities.
Today I feel like I can't do anything right. I feel alone. I know that god is with me, but I still feel alone. I am not sure why. yesterday I went to the fair with a friend and I had a great time, I got lots of free stuff, the one booth was handing out free handsanitizer, which I use often, so it was nice to get some more. I didn't go on any rides. I just didn't feel like it. Today however is different, Yesterday I thought I could getr through and survive anything. Today I feel like there is little that I can do right. All though I am trying hard. I am learning new things today about life. I asked my mom to teach me how our washing machine works, so I can help out while she is at work. All though I am scared to leave the seat by the window And don't want to do anything except stare out the window at passing cars to make sure non pull in the driveway to rob the house. i also know the importance of distraction and how important it is to fill your day with activities. That is something I learned while in hospital. that activities are good for our health they keep us stimulated and distracted from what the problem may be
Friday 16 September 2011
Why
Sometimes like today I am asking why. Why Do I have to be the one dealing with this. Why do I have to self harm. Today I feel like it real badly but I am not going to. I also feel great today, maybe because it is friday and I am looking forward to the weekend. Or maybe My prayers are being answered, I just don't feel down today. Today I have made a saftey plan, and I am going to stick with it no matter how hard it is.
Thursday 15 September 2011
Life with Mental Illness
Living with mental Illness isn't easy there are so many ups and downs. yesterday I was in Emergency with thoughts about hurting myself, because I was frustrated that things were not turning out the way that I had planned. Sometimes that happens my thoughts get me to panick. One fear I seem to have is someone will break into the house and shoot me. Yes I do know that the likelyhood of that happening is minor, but my mind seems to create these thoughts and I can't get them to go away. Even with prayer and relaxation, I am still panicked. The nurse at the hospital was really good and we talked alot about my fears, and why i was brought into emergency. The doctor didn't keep me in emergency because I was doing well enough to go home. Today my thoughts have been better, and I don't want hurt myself today.
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