My Plan

Today was a long day. This morning I watched some house, then I went for groceries with my mom. I just keep thinking how I could hurt myself, and get rid of everything else i was feeling. I didn't hurt myself and the day is almost over so I guess I am thankful for that. I just felt like there was no hope today, but I am beginning to come around and see that maybe there is hope for me, and everything that happens happens for a reason. I am just not sure what the reason behind self injury thoughts is. Maybe It is so i can teach other people about the disorder, and what works and doesn't work for me. i already did one presentation on it, maybe i am meant to keep talking about life with mental illness.

disappointment

Today was a good day. I read some today, and when mom came home from work we went down to her friends store on ottawa st. and of course she brought home Tim Hortons from work. Today was hard with our dog because she kept barking to go outside but as soon as she saw the rain she ran back from the door.
I volunteered to help with the elections so the election people called today and said they had filled all of there spaces and I would be put on a cancellation list, that was a disappointment because I really wanted to work the elections.

my day

Today was a good day. I spent most of the day reading, and time just seemed to fly by. And then my neighbour came over with gifts for Abby our cat and Tippy our dog. She brought them each a toy and a baag of treats. They seemed to just love them. Tonight I had music lessons. The music teacher thinks i am doing well. she says it is harder for adults to learn the piano then it is for kids, so she thinks I am doing fantastic but I am not so sure of that.Tonight is the Greys anatomy season premiere can't wait to watch it.

stuff to look forward to

Today the cat came home from the vet. We were told to keep her quiet but all she wants to do is play. It will be hard to keep our kitten from playing with the puppy.
We went out for supper tonight. Golden fish and chips were having there special of the week.
I went to the mall with a friend today. I ended up buying greys Anatomy season seven on DVD. Greys anatomy is my favourite tv show and the nes season comes on Tv on thursday. So I am looking forward to watching it.

today

Tonight was great. I had a good day.
I called the vet and he told me my cats surgury was a success, and I should be able to bring her home tomorrow afternoon, she had to get fixed as mom does not want any kittens. We also had her declawed. My poor kitty is not going to be herself till she heals up. But I was glad to hear it was successful and my mom will be happy now that the cat won't be able to climb all the way up the curtains.
Tonight was good as well. I went to the gym and then to zumba. I really enjoy zumba classes, but they are quite the workout.
Now I am ready for a good nights sleep

Doctors visit

Today I went to the doctor, and they decided to give me more medication, i thought i was doing well on what i was already taking, but they decided on an increase, and also ones that I now have to carry with me everywhere I go, incase i get panicked, they said it would take the edge off. I thought I didn't need to but after being in emergency this week, I guess the doctor was concerned. I am doing much better now though much better then I was a year ago at this time. I thought my prayers were working, and I guess they are if i compare where i am this year to where I was last year at this time. I will cuntinue to pray that things get easier or that I am able to cope better. But I thank god daily for helping me, and waalking by myside through this illness

Sunday

today was a long day, it seemed like it would never end, actually it still feels that way. I have alot on my mind. I should be practicing piano, or cleaning my room, but I don't feel up to it, maybe its the change in weather. I am not sure. I am thankful for many things and now that it is getting closer to thanksgiving i am comming up with more and more things to be thankful for. Today i am thankful for my family, and my pets. This is a big change because last year at this time I wasn't thankful for anything. I didn't even want to live. i have come along way since then And I am now thankful for the doctors and nurses who kept me going while i was in hospital.