Importance of activities.

Today I feel like I can't do anything right. I feel alone. I know that god is with me, but I still feel alone. I am not sure why. yesterday I went to the fair with a friend and I had a great time, I got lots of free stuff, the one booth was handing out free handsanitizer, which I use often, so it was nice to get some more. I didn't go on any rides. I just didn't feel like it. Today however is different, Yesterday I thought I could getr through and survive anything. Today I feel like there is little that I can do right. All though I am trying hard. I am learning new things today about life. I asked my mom to teach me how our washing machine works, so I can help out while she is at work. All though I am scared to leave the seat by the window And don't want to do anything except stare out the window at passing cars to make sure non pull in the driveway to rob the house. i also know the importance of distraction and how important it is to fill your day with activities. That is something I learned while in hospital. that activities are good for our health they keep us stimulated and distracted from what the problem may be

Why

Sometimes like today I am asking why. Why Do I have to be the one dealing with this. Why do I have to self harm. Today I feel like it real badly but I am not going to. I also feel great today, maybe because it is friday and I am looking forward to the weekend. Or maybe My prayers are being answered, I just don't feel down today. Today I have made a saftey plan, and I am going to stick with it no matter how hard it is.

Life with Mental Illness

Living with mental Illness isn't easy there are so many ups and downs. yesterday I was in Emergency with thoughts about hurting myself, because I was frustrated that things were not turning out the way that I had planned. Sometimes that happens my thoughts get me to panick. One fear I seem to have is someone will break into the house and shoot me. Yes I do know that the likelyhood of that happening is minor, but my mind seems to create these thoughts and I can't get them to go away. Even with prayer and relaxation, I am still panicked. The nurse at the hospital was really good and we talked alot about my fears, and why i was brought into emergency. The doctor didn't keep me in emergency because I was doing well enough to go home. Today my thoughts have been better, and I don't want hurt myself today.